Some day I will share the story of our entire adoption process, but that day is not today. I’m not quite ready to share all that yet. However, I am going to continue with my own Adoption Is… Series. You can read my first post in this series, Adoption Is Broken and Beautiful, here. Today I am going to explain what I mean by “adoption is so close yet so far away”.
It’s a feeling that every prospective adoptive family goes through, and it is the season our family is in now. Whether going through US infant adoption, international adoption, adoption through foster care, or any other type of adoption there are moments and possibly even seasons for some of feeling so close yet so far away.
Some examples of what I mean are this:
- A mother wanted to review our adoption file, but another family was ultimately chosen over us – so close yet so far away
- We have been granted permission to adopt our foster daughter, but we have to wait 6-8 months for a court date – so close yet so far away
- We thought we were going to travel to meet and bring home our son 2 months ago, but it’s now been 4 months – so close yet so far away
A Personal Example
To be quite honest, our family has felt as if we were in this season for quite some time now. It has been over a year. I would say that length is not typical in adoption, but it is definitely not unheard of.
We’ve thought multiple times we would be traveling within the next couple month to meet our child, and then a new request or a new regulation comes up. The country needs more documents or the time it is taking to make decisions runs on and on. This is what happens particularly when you are working with a country that has just passed and is trying to implement new adoption laws. The laws are good and help provide for more ethical adoptions and less space for corruption. But the feeling of being so close yet so far away is a hard place to live.
After nearly a year of believing that we were at that point we would be traveling and then something else would come up, now, for the past few months we really have been at that spot. It really is “the end”. There are no more requests, no more documents needed. Just waiting. We are so close to receiving our referral and traveling to meet our child, yet some days it feels so far away because of all the waiting we’ve done up to this point.
“Any day now” is no longer a phrase that is music to my ears. In fact, it is the complete opposite. That’s where we are currently living. Any day now could literally mean tomorrow. It could also mean an entire year from now. So for us, adoption is so close yet so far away.
A Word of Encouragement
This post is not meant to make you discouraged if you are contemplating adoption. It is not meant to make you feel sorry for us or anyone else in this process. This post is meant to share with you the realities of the adoption journey. It’s also meant as a place for those that have already gone through the process to identify. No matter what type of adoption you have, no matter how long or how short the process, each and every person will hit this moment at some point in their journey. It is the reality, and it’s much better to be prepared and go in with eyes wide open than to be blindsided by a mac truck.
Adoption is… so close, yet so far away.
Thank you for sharing a part of your adoption journey! So many families struggle with finally being able to finish the adoption process and start loving their new child. There is so much heartbreak involved but the reward at the end is always so great! I wish you and your family the best!
Thank you so much!
My friend is about to start the adoption process and it’s such an emotional rollercoaster. These sort of people help keep things in perspective. Thank you. You’re helping so many!
Thank you so much! An emotional roller coaster is exactly what it is the entire way through.
This is a really eye opening, honest and open post. Thanks for sharing this reality. I wish the best to your family and all those who are going through this process ❤️
Thank you. It can be difficult to be this transparent, but I believe that people need to understand. So many people have at least touched adoption in some way, even if it’s a friend they know or what not, and I feel that posts like this can give people not going through the process themselves a little insight to help support their friends and family walking through this journey.
I will be praying for you and your family that your Any Day Now comes very, very soon! I wish for you a lifetime of happiness and love however large or small your family ends up being!
Keep fighting the good fight! I have walked beside many of my friends on this journey. You nailed it right on the head. The waiting period can be excruciating but in anything in life this is often where the most growth happens. Praying for your family!
Thank you for your encouraging words!
It’s so heartbreaking to know that families like your own need to wait so long to adopt. I hope that you get answers soon.
For those looking or thinking of adopting, this gives them a better glimpse into the things that are involved, and how others have gone through the adoptive process. I wish you all the best with the court date and adoption of your foster daughter, and I hope you get some good news soon about adopting your son!
Thank you for sharing this information. I think for those of us who are not familiar with the adoption world, it’s important to hear these stories. We can’t even fathom how difficult it can be for a family going through this process.
Thank you for sharing the realness of adoption and the process. Hope your journey gets closer and not so far away.
My heart is so full reading this! I have seen several dear friends experience these exact feelings in their adoption journeys as well. Prayers and best wishes that your wait will draw to a close soon, mama!
Thank you
It takes a brave and beautiful soul to weather the adoption storm. Thank you for doing your part to save these children and make our world a better place 💜
Well, I don’t see myself as a “savior” for this child, but I definitely feel blessed to have the opportunity to offer a family to a child with no family.
I am sorry to hear that you are in that season in your adoption process, still. I, personally, don’t know anyone who is going through the adoption process so I’m not very versed in the process. All I can do, is say a prayer for you. I hope this season of “so close, yet so far away” will not last forever, and that your family will be complete soon. Stay strong, Momma! I imagine it will be a similar sensation once a new mother holds her baby in her arms for the first time, that you will feel the same once you hold your babies in your arms for the first time, it will all be worth it.
Thank you Rikki for your encouragement!
I love that you are spreading awareness of the experiences people are going through in trying to adopt. I definitely think it’s not something many people think of until they go through it themselves!
I hope that the days will cease rolling and you finally meet your child. I look forward to your family’s adoption story!
Thank you!