Are you an overwhelmed mom? We all get there at times. However, if you are living overwhelmed day in and day out, I am here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way. You can get out from under that vicious cycle and live life to the fullest, right now, in the midst of all that is motherhood. I want to share with you how to ditch the overwhelm of motherhood.
Of course there are many tips and suggestions to help you break this cycle, and those can all be very helpful. But, today I am going to share with you the number one key to ditching the overwhelm of motherhood.
Number One Key for How to Ditch The Overwhelm of Motherhood
It’s All In Your Head
I don’t mean that in the way you’re making up the fact that you are overwhelmed. What I mean is, the number one key to breaking that overwhelmed cycle starts in your head, in your thoughts. Of course being overwhelmed as a mom can come from exterior circumstances. The never ending laundry and messy house, cooking dinner, spending every second with the children and no moments of peace to yourself. And the list can go on and on.
However, what really causes us to feel overwhelmed in the midst of all of that is our thoughts and feelings. We begin to think things like “I’m not a good enough mom”, or even as far as “I’m a terrible mom.” We play the comparison game all too often. “If they can do this, why can’t I get it together?” This only leads us further and further down that hole of feeling overwhelmed.
Mamas, WE ARE OUR WORST ENEMIES! We judge ourselves much more often and much harsher than any other person. And we think others are judging us when often they are not, it is just our own thoughts. We think those things about ourselves, so we think others must be also. But believe me, most moms have enough to deal with on their own. They don’t have the time or energy to judge others.
We carry these thoughts around, and then the external circumstances such as piles of laundry add on top. That feeling of inadequacy quickly turns into overwhelm and the vicious cycle begins. So how can we get out of this cycle? How do we ditch the overwhelm of motherhood?
How Do I Get Out Of This Cycle?
This cycle starts in your head, in your thoughts and feelings. And honestly, it ends in your head. Yes, getting rid of or lessening the external circumstances can help, but your thoughts about yourself are the number one key to breaking this cycle. If you can let the pressure off yourself a little, you can have that mountain of laundry and dirty dishes yet still feel okay about yourself and be happy with the fact that you’re spending precious time with your kiddos and you are a good mom. If you have difficulty changing your thoughts about yourself or your circumstances, here are some suggestions to help you.
- Recite positive affirmations to yourself (say them out loud, put notes all around the house, etc) (ex. “I am a good mom”)
- Each morning and before you go to bed focus on the good things about life and about the day
- Keep a gratitude journal – jot down a few things you’re grateful for each day
- Spend time with positive people (particularly positive moms that will encourage you)
- Laugh – find some humor in what the kids just did, look at funny parenting memes, etc – laughing gives you a better outlook on life and helps you have a better outlook about yourself
- Remind yourself that all moms get overwhelmed at times
- Ask for help – get vulnerable with your spouse or friends you trust and ask them to help you (they can encourage you, ask you how your thoughts have been lately, etc)
Practical Tips for How to Ditch the Overwhelm of Motherhood
In your head is where it starts, and that is the biggest battle. If you can begin to learn to give yourself a break, take the pressure off yourself, and have positive self talk about your parenting, you will be well on your way to being a less overwhelmed mom.
However, if you’re anything like me, you’ve got to have practical steps to go along with it. I mean, I may have my head on straight now, but that mountain of laundry is still there. So how do we make our homes more manageable and our time with our kids more meaningful? I’m not going to make an extra long post about that here, but you can find lots of helpful tips on the practical side in some of my other posts.
How to Start Decluttering Your Home
The #1 Key to Having a Tidy Home
10 Ways to Connect With Your Children
Love Is Not Enough… Or Maybe It Is
How to Make Meal Planning Work For You
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Although I am not a mom I can definitely relate to being in my own head. You have good tips, and I especially like the one about reciting positivity! Thanks for sharing.
Yes this is so apt. It’s in our hands and we can change it
Decluttering and minimizing really helps ditch the overwhelm. Just putting toys away and rotating them in and out helps. There’s a lot less to pick up that way!
Yes, I absolutely agree! I have two other posts on that exact subject! I do feel however, that getting your head on straight about how you feel about yourself is a huge key.
I am not a mother but very often mine has told me about how you know a complex world, a reality that no one explains to you and falls on you having to learn to manage it and understand the right and difficult sides … I was very impressed to read this post and made me think. ^_^
Hi it’s Brenda from RubyHemMinistries.com When my daughter was younger a friend told me we all get the same 24 hours in a day, it’s what we make of them that matters most.
Really great advice, even for those of us without kids yet! That “I’m not good enough” feeling can really, really break you down after a while that’s why your tips are so refreshing!
A gratitude list is my go to in tough times, glad to see it on this list. Thanks for sharing!
Yes, we can all get there and get down on ourselves. That comparison game is the worst! And I agree, turning to gratitude is number one on my list.
It’s all in your head as you said! Mind over matter and we can get through it all!
I am not a mother yet, but my mom taught me a lot about the outside world, I am missing her right now.
I have always thought that motherhood is so overwhelming even on good days, now with the way the world is developing it takes a act of bravery to really get in those trenches, you guys are doing a lot of heavy lifting now.
Oh Jennie, such great advice. Learn to give yourself a break and take the pressure off. With the recent stress on parents caused by the pandemic, this article couldn’t be more time. Thanks for sharing.
It’s true. Motherhood can be challenging and totally overwhelming at times. But please believe me when I tell you …it’s all worth it! My wonderful grown children prove that to me on a daily basis!
Yes, I agree. My children are not grown yet, but already I know it’s worth it. And the beautiful relationship I have with my mother attests to that as well.
So often I see suggestions to use affirmations and every time I ask myself why I STILL haven’t tried this. D’uh. I’d really like to give it a go. Thank you for reminding me 🙂
Honestly I’m not great at it myself, but I’ve heard it’s a tried and true method, so I’m giving it a go. I’m not to the saying it out loud stage yet, so I’m taking a few minutes to write it down.